A Cold and Heartless Lullaby -Chapter 6-

Graham looked back at himself from between the cracks of his apartment’s dusty mirror. With a fingernail between his teeth, he picked uselessly at the bit of lettuce he had already gotten out minutes ago. Even though he couldn’t see it, he could still feel it. Maybe he was just overthinking it. He had spent so long in front of the mirror that he hardly recognized himself anymore, and he was going to be late. 

Graham gave himself another once over, absent-mindedly rubbing the prison number that was tattooed on the back of his neck. He flipped up his collar. With any luck, she wouldn’t see it. 

Jaylen was a good girl, the kind that had never cursed in her life. If she found out Graham had been to prison, she would likely run away screaming. It didn’t matter if he was different now, the mark they gave him in prison would continue to define who he was for the rest of his life.

With a final swat at the loose strand of hair dangling in front of his face Graham took two steps across his apartment and was out the door, picnic basket in one hand and umbrella in the other. He unfolded it and rain tapped lightly on the canopy.

On his way, Graham forgot his worries. He took a deep breath of the fresh, earthy air and practically danced down the street, kicking water from puddles as he passed. For the first time in his life, he loved someone. And most unexpectedly of all, she loved him back.

 It felt like seconds before he was at her door, pulling the ringer cord. She opened the door to reveal a wide smile on her face and a breezy white dress billowing from her freckled shoulders. 

“Graham!” she said warmly, “You’re twenty minutes late.”

Graham gave her an overdramatic bow. “And every minute without you was as excruciating as the last.”

She laughed, stepping under his umbrella and planting a kiss on his cheek, “I only finished getting ready a few minutes ago so you’re good.” She took the picnic basket from his hand and linked her arm with his.

“So, where are we going this time?”

“You shall soon see,” Graham said, a sly smile across his face. He didn’t normally care where they went, as long as he was with her, but this time he had something special in mind. Arm in arm they traversed the damp streets of the city, watching raindrops sprinkle ripples across the river’s surface. But Graham didn’t stop when they reached the perimeter of the city. Despite Jaylen’s confusion, he kept on straight into the ash forest. Tall, thin, blackened trunks stuck out from the gray ashy ground like executioner’s spikes, lifeless and quiet, as they had been for centuries. Graham was told as a kid that the forest had always been dead. He never believed it. Jaylen shifted her grip on his arm nervously,

“Graham, if I had known we were going out here, I wouldn’t have worn something so nice.” 

“Don’t worry,” Graham smirked, “we’re almost there.” Jaylen clutched him tighter, keeping a wary eye on the barren forest. Graham kept his focus. There is the gnarled tree, so I need to turn 40 degrees towards the split tree. Soon the rain let up, the final drops splashing uselessly into the unyielding soil. They passed through a cluster of trees and Jaylen gasped. There, in the middle of a clearing, was a bright green patch of grass, flourishing with beautiful white flowers.

“Wind’s breath! I can’t believe it!”

“See, I told you I’d pick a good spot.”

“To think! The Ash Forest has been holding on to this the whole time! I mean, we know so little about how the forest formed, but this!” She could hardly find the words, “This complicates everything! Why this one spot? Are there more like this?”

“This is the only one I’ve found,” Graham mused, “it’s an ironic spot for a picnic. You know, surrounded by death and all.”

Jaylen twirled in place, her skirt flaring outwards and twisting back around her. 

“I love it!” 

Graham grabbed the picnic basket from her and took a seat in the grass. She sat next to him, leaning into his side. With a contented sigh, Graham plucked a flower and placed it lazily in her hair. 

A chill breeze fluttered through and Jaylen shivered a little. A gentleman would have offered his jacket but Graham was too aware of the tattoo on his neck. Instead, he put his arm around her. She grasped his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. 

“It’s kind of beautiful,” she said, staring out at the ashen landscape “in its own way.”

Without much thought, Graham responded, “Sounds like somebody I know.” Jaylen gave him a sideways glance,

“‘In its own way?’” 

“You know what I meant.” Graham reached into the picnic basket and took a bite of sausage. The wind blew through and knocked his collar down. He unwound his arm from Jaylen and flipped it up hastily, his heart skipping a beat. Her smile faded. She laid back in the grass with a sigh. Was that too obvious? Did she notice?

Aware that she could see his back, Graham lay beside her. For minutes they watched the gray clouds pass lethargically over the blackened branches.

“You know I’ve already seen it, right?” Jaylen said. “Your number.”

Shame crawled over Graham’s skin, her words sinking into him like a weight on his chest. He couldn’t respond. He couldn’t move his lips. “I’ve been waiting for you to tell me about it,” Jaylen continued. 

“I… I wanted to,” Graham stuttered, sitting up. “I just…” Graham took a deep breath. “I didn’t know how you would react.”

Jaylen sat up next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I know who you are, Graham. You’re a good guy. That’s all I care about.”

Graham reached up and put his hand on hers, squeezing it gently as if to express how much it meant. 

“So what did you do?” Jaylen grinned. “Kill someone?”

Graham laughed, “Yeah… They don’t exactly let a murderer out for good behavior. I was a delinquent child, stole a few too many apples.”

“Oh really?”

“I grew up as a single child with oppressive parents,” Graham explained. “They had a vision for me that I was obligated to fill but I didn’t like it. So… you know.”

“You stole apples?” Jaylen said, eyebrow raised.

“I stole apples.”

“Well, I had three brothers and an overworked mom, so I can’t relate.”

“What did you do?” Graham said, grinning at her, “-to cope I mean.”

“I read waaay too many books.”

“Maybe I should have tried that,” Jaylen kissed him on the cheek, 

“Now can I wear your jacket?”