A Cold and Heartless Lullaby -Chapter 19-

The angelic voices of the children’s choir filled the cathedral’s sanctuary, their echo exploring the space between tall stone pillars and arches. Kia, now eight years old, stood in the third row, fidgeting nervously with her skirt while she sang. Graham could pick her voice out of the crowd with ease. It was delicate but clear and perfectly on pitch—just like her mother. 

At the conclusion of the song, the choir director shooed the kids off the stage, and they all scattered, making a beeline for their parents. Kia joined her parents on their creaky pew, sitting closest to Jaylen as a reverent droned from the pulpit. 

“Your voice sounds good,” Graham whispered, “but you should work on your stage presence. All the fidgeting makes the audience uncomfortable. You have to look like you’re enjoying it.”

Kia crossed her arms, “I don’t enjoy it!” 

“But you’re so good at it! If you kept it up, you could easily get a solo.”

“I don’t want a solo!” Kia whined, “I hate singing!”

“Come now, Kia!” Graham said. Jaylen shushed him.

“Later, Graham.”

Graham leaned back into the pew with a sigh. How can she hate singing? Graham thought. Singing is a profound expression! A revered art form! People would kill to have a voice like hers. No matter what he did, he could never seem to get through to her. If Jaylen told her to sing, she would do it in a heartbeat. Kia clung to Jaylen like her life depended on it, but she would hardly talk to Graham. He wondered if she didn’t like singing because her father did. 

…

The service concluded, and all of the families in attendance pushed out through the heavy wooden door and down the sunny stone steps onto the cobbled street below. Tretts waited along the road, ready to take churchgoers back to their homes. Jaylen chose one of the new ones that had wheels instead of treads. 

Soon, they were back at their apartment, and Kia went to her room to play while Jaylen and Graham sat across the table from each other. Graham fiddled with his instrument, trying to get it to keep a tune while Jaylen stitched together a plush Jerboa for Kia.

“Why do we bother sitting through those services?” Graham asked. Jaylen set down her needle.

 “It’s good for her, Graham. I grew up going to services, and it did me a lot of good.”

“The Revenance is corrupt!” Graham complained.

“Some of it, yes, but that could be said about many things.”

Graham struck a chord on his instrument. He shuddered. It was still horribly out of tune, “So are we just going to repeat what your parents did for you? Sheltering Kia for her entire life?”

“Graham, my parents did what they thought was best for me.”

“Yeah,” Graham said mockingly, “they all do. It’s the only thing they can do. There’s just one thing you’re missing.”

“And what’s that?” 

“Your parents, my parents… They were just like us. They had no idea what they were doing. They were fallible human beings. Naive even!”

“Yes,” Jaylen said, straightening her back. “But just because they didn’t have the answer to begin with, it doesn’t mean they never found it.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Graham said incredulously, “You’re just going to shelter Kia in the same way your parents did, and when she sees the real world for the first time, she’ll drown in it.”

“Graham.” 

“When I was a kid, my parents sheltered me from everything! They treated me like I would blow over and shatter on the sidewalk if I ever left the house, and do you know where that left me?”

“Where did that leave you, Graham?” Jaylen said, playing along with a hint of spite.

“I was forced to break out into the world on my own just to survive!”

“So you went and mugged people?” Jaylen accused. Graham glared at her. “Sorry,” Jaylen said, “That wasn’t appropriate.” 

Graham sighed and leaned back in his chair, “Everybody keeps putting imaginary barriers between kids and maturity and they are suffering for it. We keep talking down to them and telling them they don’t know anything and they can’t make their own decisions. Everybody just assumes they are too stupid to understand, but I knew what was going on! Every kid knows what is going on. We just don’t let them prove it!”

“Graham, is this about Kia or your parents?” Jaylen asked. 

“Both!” 

“I don’t like it either way. Kids need to be nurtured and loved when they are young.”

“Right, so we treat them like dogs? Giving them affirmation for learning to sit down on command and not throwing up all over the floor? Good job! You’re almost passable as a real human being!”

“Graham!”

“She is a person, she has sentience, self-awareness, morality! Don’t make all of her choices for her!”

“Like how you let her choose if she wanted to sing?” 

“That is different,” Graham said, changing tone, “She actually likes it. She just won’t admit it. She only says she hates it because she hates me.”

“Graham!” Jaylen scolded, “That is not true.”

“Really? Why isn’t she singing then?”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Jaylen said. “You’re just too critical. You always focus on what she does wrong. You never give her any compliments.”

“Oh, yeah,” Graham sneered, “what a fat lot of good compliments do. ‘You did great!’ Thanks, that really helps me know how to improve!”

Jaylen stood abruptly,

“That’s it. If you are going to be like this, then this conversation is over.” She turned to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“To work! Graham,” she said sternly, walking across the room to get her coat “It is not becoming of Andron’s assistant to show up late.”

“Fine! Go serve your work boyfriend.” Graham said it before he could stop himself.

“He is my boss, Graham!” Jaylen sighed, “Just make sure Kia has her respirator at three.”

Graham didn’t bother to respond as she shut the door behind her, leaving the room in silence. He noticed Kia peeking out from the nursery, and she ducked out of sight. Graham sighed.